Telephone Connections of the Real Kind

A Trainer’s Confession of How Swimsuits Lead to Proper Phone Skills

I do so much training on telephone skills, and it seems that one of the areas that so many people have a challenge with is connecting with a prospective customer on an authentic level. This is particularly tough for some over the telephone. I am willing to share a personal and potentially embarrassing story with you in an effort to improve your phone skills. Yes, that is how much I am dedicated to helping you be the best you can be!

It all begins with the fact that I turn 40 this year. While I’m not completely uncomfortable with that, it coincides with taking a trip to Hawaii the following month and the need to try on bathing suits. Ugh. (Do I hear the groans echoing throughout the country from those not ready for swimsuit season?) As I stared back at the reflection in the mirror, I realized that getting out of the gym habit after whiplash from a minor rear end collision was not working to my benefit (my chiropractor initially recommended that I not lift weights afterward, and somehow I lost my workout mojo). Maybe I grabbed the wrong two swimsuits, but let’s just say I was not happy with what I saw.

What could this possibly have to do with telephone skills, you ask? Everything. After mulling it over for a day or so, I went online and searched out Dr. Thomas Barnes here in Newport Beach, as I knew he had started offering a laser light therapy that helps your cells release their fat, enabling you to drop pounds and inches. Yes, Vanity saw 40 around the bend and reared her ugly head. It’s true. I confess. I wanted to know more. I wanted to see if he could literally melt my troubles away. So after watching a few videos on his website to understand the process, I called to schedule a consultation to learn more.

I was surprised and delighted when Dr. Barnes himself answered the phone. I hadn’t expected that, and I’m certain I just caught him at the right moment when no one else was near the phone, but the conversation that ensued made me want to write this article to share with you the secret that really helps you connect with another person over the telephone. That secret recipe is made up of: Two parts curiosity, one part generosity and a side of caring.

He answered the phone, identifying the doctor’s office by name. I thought his voice sounded familiar, having just viewed the videos, but wouldn’t have expected to reach him directly. I said I was calling to schedule a consultation, and he immediately asked what services interested me (defining my needs right away). After a few clarifying questions I told him I was curious about his Laser Lite Diet, and he wondered how I heard about the procedure (checking to see which of his marketing sources are working). I mentioned a friend who was happy with her procedure done in Tulsa, and that I’d noticed website photos from the company she’d used included his name. Given that he was in my area, I was familiar with him from television interviews he’d done previously about his lunchtime makeovers and knew who he was. In viewing his photos after my friend’s experience, I felt the need to seek out his website when Vanity struck my household next.

When he asked why I was hoping to have a consultation (trying to uncover my motivation), I told him I wanted to learn more about how it all worked and that I was concerned with how safe the procedure might be. He answered with, “I understand. This is Dr. Barnes, by the way.”

I realized other customers may not get so lucky as to chat with a doctor on the first call. I thanked my lucky timing stars. Impressed that the doctor himself had taken the time to answer the phone, I said, “I thought so! I thought I recognized your voice after seeing the videos on your website.”

He explained that he was in the process of updating his website and went on to tell me how he had been using the laser for years during his surgeries as a tool to help with healing after liposculpture. Eventually he realized there was a need for a more universal, non-invasive application to help others reach their goals without surgical treatment. Hearing that it had been used as a part of these operations prior to its current form made me feel more comfortable about it, as did speaking directly with the person who had essentially developed this newer machine for its intended use. I didn’t know when I called that I’d gone directly to the source of it all. Credibility creates confidence.

I confessed I didn’t know if it was the fact that I was turning 40 or the idea of getting into a swimsuit for an upcoming trip to Hawaii where I would swim with dolphins that drove me to his site that day. He responded with a simple question, “Where in Hawaii are you going?”

We began a conversation about Hawaii, and he told me that he and his wife and 3-year old were headed there the following week, but to Maui instead of the Big Island. Swimming with dolphins became our next topic of conversation, which led to me telling him about the son of my sister-in-law who is fighting an epic battle with cancer. During a recent life threatening surgery my nephew had, I sought peace at the ocean’s edge in order to better focus on sending all of my healing thoughts to him. Out of nowhere straight in front of me shot a pod of dolphins out of the water, sending me a universal sign he would make it through. And he did. It definitely solidified my desire to swim with dolphins this year!

Yes, I shared all of that with the doctor. Why, you ask? Because he asked! And he continued to ask … next about Steven’s cancer, his kidney transplant, his condition. We discussed swimming with dolphins again and traded a few travel tidbits as he shared some information with me about his family. He asked more about me – what I did for a living, who my primary clients were, about business in a challenging economy. We discussed websites, social networking, advertising and services. Oh, and we finally touched upon pricing, which wasn’t a focal point but rather a sidebar to our discussion. He didn’t try to hide pricing from me, like some doctor’s offices might do to lure you in for the consultation. It was covered generally and he let me know what the options were in a laid back manner.

What do you think I began to do by the end of our conversation? That’s right … I began to trust him. Why? Because he was curious to know more about me. He asked about my life. It wasn’t all surface – he wanted to really know the person on the other end of the line, and it felt completely authentic. From there he was also willing to share details of his life and experience with me. Two parts curiosity, one part generosity.

As our call drew to a close and we scheduled a time for my consultation, it felt like we were both looking forward to meeting the other. Is that an appointment I will keep? You bet! Not only am I interested in the procedure, but after speaking with Dr. Barnes personally, I have the impression that he is a caring individual who wants to help others. At this point, I want to meet the man behind the machine, because based on everything we covered I feel like he wants to help me personally. Me. Not just a number or a name or some appointment on a calendar. Me. And they say doctors have no bedside manner! I disagree.

So there’s your side of caring. You have to truly care about others to really connect with them on the phone (of course this goes double when you meet those prospects in person, but at this point you just need to get them in the door!). Ask questions about your prospects. Learn what motivates them and get to know them. Want to hear more from them and then figure out how you can help based on what their answers are. Be interested, and they will be interesting. It’s amazing how that works!

When you are genuinely engrossed in someone and are successful at getting them to open up to you, you then have the opportunity to align yourself with them by finding those things you have in common, so be sure to give of yourself in small doses as well. You have often heard of this described as “building rapport,” but I really like to think it’s about connecting with the customer. Two parts curiosity, one part generosity. This is the stuff that helps build bonds and establish trust. And that side of caring? That’s what it really boils down to: Do you care about the person on the other end of the line, and whether or not you can help them?

I hope this somewhat embarrassing personal confession helps you learn more about what drives those stellar connections over the telephone. When I take the time to write an article, it is because I have honestly been inspired by someone or something. In turn, I hope this story can inspire you to make those connections of your own, to sincerely care about your customers and to take your performance to a higher level. How you deal with trying on swimsuits in the dressing room, however? That’s up to you!

No, this is not a paid advertisement for Dr. Barnes – at the time of writing this article I haven’t yet gone in for my consultation, although I do plan to share the article with him (even fancy doctors need positive reinforcement when they do a good job!). It is simply easier to use his name in the retelling of things, and I know some of you out there who are squeezing into swimsuits right now may be curious about the procedure I’m referring to as well. Including those details prevents you from stalking me for them later! However, if you need help with telephone skills training, feel free to stalk away!



Valerie M. Sargent is Senior Associate at Yvette Poole & Associates, a consulting firm dedicated to unlocking the dynamic power of people through more well rounded training programs and integration into company cultures. For questions about this article or assistance with leasing, sales & telephone training, Valerie is based in Newport Beach, CA and can be reached at valeriesargent@yahoo.com , (949) 637-0104 or www.ypooleandassoc.com.